Thots

Edward: Post-DTP discussion revealed that probably the reason why Hannah thinks it’s creepy for me to use “female” as a noun is that it sounds dehumanizing, like a serial killer being all “It puts the lotion on its skin.”

Also, the woman guest hosting the Lopate show is actually Roseanne Cash — interesting!

I also think I was unfair to Leonard Lopate — he actually does frequently have female guests on his show who aren’t actresses. One of his regular guests is Patricia T. O’Conner, the language guru, and he’s had on people like Rachel Maddow and many other woman authors and filmmakers, etc. I maintain though that the male-female ratio is skewed a lot more towards the male end when he’s hosting, and there are more female guests when a woman is hosting.

Food Show!


 
In the final segment of today’s Costco-sized Drive To Place, I got pretty het up about “Signs” by Five Man Electrical Band, which I consider to be one of the most irritating songs of all time.1 Over the course of driving to place, we got to the root of my annoyance with the song, which is that it’s a textbook example of a song belonging to what I’m going to group together into a genre called Unearned Contempt.2

I came across the idea of Unearned Contempt songs in a Slate piece, “The Worst Pop Singer Ever”, posted in 2009 but which I only read a couple of days ago. In this piece, Ron Rosenbaum identifies Billy Joel as the most awful pop music artist ever, an allegation I considered questionable at first, but was convinced of by his supporting evidence.

Rosenbaum defines Unearned Contempt this way:

Both a self-righteous contempt for others and the self-approbation and self-congratulation that is contempt’s backside, so to speak. Most frequently a contempt for the supposed phoniness or inauthenticity of other people as opposed to the rock-solid authenticity of our B.J.

I won’t recreate his thorough argument here — the piece is well worth a read. And it’s worth underscoring that what is under discussion here is not all music that expresses contempt for its subjects (for instance, a lot of protest music is extremely contemptuous, but victims of injustice have earned their contempt for their oppressors). In order to be an Unearned Contempt song, it has to demonstrate no particular reason why the singer should be considered any kind of authority on the subject, or why the singer warrants either the self-righteous contempt for others, or the self-congratulation.

“Signs,” in my view, absolutely fits into the Unearned Contempt category. The band, Five Man Electrical Band, a Canadian one-hit wonder, is probably the most nondescript, forgettable band ever to release a “Best of” collection. By neither artistic merit or any musical significance of its members does Five Man Electrical Band qualify as the kind of cultural authority who could pass moral judgment upon others from an enlightened perspective.

This got me thinking about the idea of Unearned Contempt as an actual artistic genre. The concept I think exists in just about every form of art. Probably 90% of standup comedians, for example, work in the Unearned Contempt genre, using “observational humor” to express their moral/intellectual superiority over others, despite for the most part demonstrating insufficient personal merit, or even funniness, to lend weight to their superior stance. There’s also Unearned Contempt in literature (mediocre novels about how mediocre people are) and film.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I think I’ll start compiling a few lists of examples of Unearned Contempt in art. Feel free to contribute any suggestions. Long-haired freaky people, however, need not apply.

I’m pretty sure the “short-lived show” we were trying to recall, that Timothy Olyphant was on before Deadwood, was his brief guest appearance on The Office as Danny Cordray, the slick salesman who became Jim’s nemesis for a couple of episodes before abruptly disappearing (to star in Justified?).

Olyphant, of course, was terrific on Deadwood as sheriff turned hardware merchant Seth “Mister Furious” Bullock. Even though the character didn’t require a particularly broad emotional range (Barely Suppressed Simmering Rage -> Actual Expressed Rage), he did have to come across as genuinely dangerous, while also conveying enough charm to make Bullock sympathetic. Unfortunately, when Olyphant isn’t playing a guy teetering on the edge of extreme violence, he runs into problems. Seth Bullock was a good role for him because he was never, as far as I can recall, called upon to grin.1

Olyphant has one of the creepiest grins I’ve ever seen. His face looks best when it’s rigid and unsmiling; when he grins, some unpleasant alchemy happens with his eyebrows and hooded eyes that makes him look like a man under the effect of some hallucinogenic who’s just remembered a really funny joke as he’s about to approach an attractive woman. On Justified, though, he seems to be moderating his expressions of levity so that his face stops just short of creepiness.